mselfout.Hedrowned,onlytwenty-eightyearsold,marriedtwoyearsandeightmonths,onlysevenmonthsofwhichhehadentwithMother.
ThatbriefsketchisaboutallIeverreallyknewaboutmyfather.AllmylifeIhavebeenhungrytofillintheblanks,clingingeagerlytoeveryphotoorstoryorscrapofpaperthatwouldtellmemoreofthemanwhogavemelife.WhenIwasabouttwelve,sittingonmyuncleBuddy'sporchinHope,amanwalkeduptheste,lookedatme,andsaid,you'reBillBlythe'sson.Youlookjustlikehim.?Ibeamedfordays.

In1974,IwasruingforCongre.Itwasmyfirstraceandthelocalpaperdidafeaturestoryonmymother.Shewasatherregularcoffeeshopearlyinthemorningdiscuingthearticlewithalawyerfriendwhenoneofthebreakfastregularssheknewonlycasuallycameuptoherandsaid,"Iwasthere,Iwasthefirstoneatthewreckthatnight.?"HethentoldMotherwhathehadseen,includingthefactthatmyfatherhadretainedenoughcocioueorsurvivalitincttotrytoclawhimselfupandoutofthewaterbeforehedied.Motherthankedhim,wentouttohercarandcried,thendriedhertearsandwenttowork.

In1993,onFather'sDay,myfirstasPresident,theWashingtonPostranalonginvestigativestoryonmyfather,whichwasfollowedoverthenexttwomonthsbyotherinvestigativepiecesbytheAociatedPreandmanysmallerpapers.ThestoriesconfirmedthethingsmymotherandIknew.Theyalsoturnedupalotwedidn'tknow,includingthefactthatmyfatherhadprobablybeenmarriedthreetimesbeforehemetMother,andaarentlyhadatleasttwomorechildren.

Myfather'sothersonwasidentifiedasLeonRitzenthaler,aretiredownerofajanitorialservice,fromnorthernCalifornia.Inthearticle,hesaidhehadwrittenmeduringthe?2campaignbuthadreceivednoreply.Idon'trememberhearingabouthisletter,andcoideringalltheotherbulletsweweredodgingthen,it'spoiblethatmystaffkeptitfromme.Ormaybetheletterwasjustmilacedinthemountaiofmailwewerereceiving.Anyway,whenIreadaboutLeon,Igotintouchwithhimandlatermethimandhiswife,Judy,duringoneofmystoinnorthernCalifornia.Wehadahayvisitandsincethenwe'vecorreondedinholidayseaso.HeandIlookalike,hisbirthcertificatesayshisfatherwasmine,andIwishI'dknownabouthimalongtimeago.

Somewherearoundthistime,Ialsoreceivedinformationconfirmingnewsstoriesaboutadaughter,SharonPettijohn,bornSharonLeeBlytheinKaasCityin1941,toawomanmyfatherlaterdivorced.Shesentcopiesofherbirthcertificate,herparents?marriagelicee,aphotoofmyfather,andalettertohermotherfrommyfatheraskingaboutyourbaby?toBetseyWright,myformerchiefofstaffinthegovernor'soffice.I'msorrytosaythat,forwhateverreason,I'venevermether.

Thisnewsbreakingin1993cameasashocktoMother,whobythenhadbeenbattlingcancerforsometime,butshetookitallinstride.ShesaidyoungpeopledidalotofthingsduringtheDepreionandthewarthatpeopleinanothertimemightdisaroveof.Whatmatteredwasthatmyfatherwastheloveofherlifeandshehadnodoubtofhisloveforher.Whateverthefacts,that'sallsheneededtoknowasherownlifemovedtowarditsend.Asforme,Iwa'tquitesurewhattomakeofitall,butgiventhelifeI抳eled,IcouldhardlybesurprisedthatmyfatherwasmorecomplicatedthantheidealizedpicturesIhadlivedwithfornearlyhalfacentury.中华文秘版权所有

In1994,asweheadedforthecelebrationofthefiftiethaiversaryofD-day,severalnewaperspublishedastoryonmyfather'swarrecord,withaahotofhiminuniform.Shortlyafterward,IreceivedaletterfromUmbertoBaronofNetcong,NewJersey,recountinghisownexperiencesduringthewarandafter.HesaidthathewasayoungboyinItalywhentheAmericaarrived,andthathelovedtogototheircamp,whereonesoldierinparticularbefriendedhim,givinghimcandyandshowinghimhowenginesworkedandhowtorepairthem.HeknewhimonlyasBill.Afterthewar,BaroncametotheUnitedStates,and,iiredbywhathehadlearnedfromthesoldierwhocalledhim"LittleGIJoe",?heopenedhisowngarageandstartedafamily.HetoldmehehadlivedtheAmericandream,withathrivingbusineandthreechildren.Hesaidheowedsomuchofhissucceinlifetothatyoungsoldier,buthadn'thadtheoortunitytosaygood-byethen,andhadoftenwonderedwhathadhaenedtohim.Then,hesaid,"OnMemorialDayofthisyear,IwasthumbingthroughacopyoftheNewYorkDailyNewswithmymorningcoffeewhensuddenlyIfeltasifIwasstruckbylightning.Thereinthelowerleft-handcornerofthepaperwasaphotoofBill.IfeltchillstolearnthatBillwasnoneotherthanthefatherofthePresidentoftheUnitedStates.?"

In1996,thechildrenofoneofmyfather'ssisterscameforthefirsttimetoouraualfamilyChristmaspartyattheWhiteHouseandbroughtmeagift:thecondolencelettermyaunthadreceivedfromhercongreman,thegreatSamRayburn,aftermyfatherdied.It'sjustashortformletterandaearstohavebeensignedwiththeautopenoftheday,butIhuggedthatletterwithallthegleeofasix-year-oldboygettinghisfirsttrainsetfromSantaClaus.IhungitinmyprivateofficeonthesecondflooroftheWhiteHouse,andlookedatiteverynight.

ShortlyafterIlefttheWhiteHouse,IwasboardingtheUSAirshuttleinWashingtonforNewYorkwhenanairlineemployeestoedmetosaythathisstepfatherhadjusttoldhimhehadservedinthewarwithmyfatherandhadlikedhimverymuch.Iaskedfortheoldvet'sphonenumberandaddre,andthemansaidhedidn'thaveitbutwouldgetittome.I'mstillwaiting,hopingtherewillbeonemorehumancoectiontomyfather.

Attheendofmypresidency,IpickedafewecialplacestosaygoodbyeandthankstotheAmericanpeople.OneofthemwasChicago,whereHillarywasborwhereIallbutclinchedtheDemocraticnominationonSt.Patrick'sDay1992;wheremanyofmymostardentsuortersliveandmanyofmymostimportantdomesticinitiativesincrime,welfare,andeducationwereprovedeffective;and,ofcourse,wheremyparentswenttoliveafterthewar.IusedtojokewithHillarythatifmyfather
hadn'tlosthislifeonthatrainyMiourihighway,Iwouldhavegrownupafewmilesfromherandweprobablyneverwouldhavemet.MylasteventwasinthePalmerHouseHotel,sceneoftheonlyphotoIhaveofmyparentstogether,takenjustbeforeMothercamebacktoHopein1946.Aftertheeechandthegood-byes,IwentintoasmallroomwhereImetawoman,MaryEttaRees,andhertwodaughters.Shetoldmeshehadgrownupandgonetohighschoolwithmymother,thenhadgonenorthtoIndianatoworkinawarindustry,married,stayed,andraisedherchildren.Thenshegavemeanotherpreciousgift:thelettermytwenty-three-year-oldmotherhadwrittenonherbirthdaytoherfriend,threeweeksaftermyfather'sdeath,morethanfifty-fouryearsearlier.ItwasvintageMother.Inherbeautifulhand,shewroteofherheartbreakandherdeterminationtocarryon:"ItseemedalmostuelievableatthetimebutyouseeIamsixmonthspregnantandthethoughtofourbabykeemegoingandreallygivesmethewholeworldbeforeme."?/agt;

Mymotherleftmetheweddingringshegavemyfather,afewmovingstories,andthesureknowledgethatshewaslovingmeforhimtoo.

MyfatherleftmewiththefeelingthatIhadtolivefortwopeople,andthatifIdiditwellenough,somehowIcouldmakeupforthelifeheshouldhavehad.Andhismemoryinfusedme,atayoungeragethanmost,withaseeofmyownmortality.TheknowledgethatI,too,coulddieyoungdrovemebothtotrytodrainthemostoutofeverymomentoflifeandtogetonwiththenextbigchallenge.EvenwhenIwa'tsurewhereIwasgoing,Iwasalwaysinahurry.

ExcerptedfromMyLifebyBillClinton.Copyright?2004byBillClinton.中华文秘版权所有

上一页  [1] [2]